I was talking to my cousin Sarah Bassett, and I said the following to her:
I'm off to the store. Watch for me. I might fly by. The wind is strong enough to blow me clear to Austin.
Don't try to catch me, I would rip your arm off. Kind of like the time I had the brilliant idea to grab a sunflower as mom was driving down the road. Not a good idea. It's painful when the arm slams into the door frame because the sunflower is stationary, and the speedy little toyota is not. Learn from me, for I am now wise about many things, due to scientific study in idiocy. I've proven many things to be painful in my scientific study in idiocy.
Sarah asked me to post this, because she thinks it's hilarious. She mentioned that I could even post it as an event in someone elses life, but really, I might as well own it. It's who I am, and when you have a Masters in something, you should just say so.
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