I'm Sick

The other day I was ranting, yes I do rant, periodically....throughout the day....

I told Paul, I'm sick.  Don't they know that?  To which he replied, "You don't act sick, so they don't think about you being sick."  I don't act sick? It's not an act, it's reality.  How do you act sick?  Visualize me, the back of my hand to my forehead, sighing in a dramatic way, "I'm such a failure! I can't even act sick."

I've thought about that for a few days now, and wondered why I don't act sick.  Maybe it's from childhood, after all, most things that are "wrong" in our lives, date back to childhood, right?  I do know that we didn't whine, heaven help us if we even thought about whining.  We sure didn't cry. Well, I cried, because I'm a rebel that way, but it was a costly rebellion to be sure.  STOP CRYING, OR I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. WHACK.  Really, I thought you just did?  I knew not to smart off like that, but I sure thought it.

I remember having a severe case of the measles.  So bad that I was hallucinating.  That meant a call to the dr, who said...come to the hospital. We had to go in some backroom, didn't want to expose the general population.  I remember my dad carrying me, wrapped up in a quilt.  When they laid me on the exam table, I can still see all of this in my minds eye, the doctor said they would have to give me a shot.  The nurse said that she would go get a few others so they could hold me down.  My mom said, "You won't need to hold her down. She won't move, and she won't cry."  Yep, mom had spoken, the rules were set forth, and I would not move, and I would not cry.  The nurse looked at me, thought about this very sick three year old, and went for reinforcement.  The nurse did not know my mother.

I, however, knew the rules.  I did not cry, and I did not move. I wonder if somewhere along the way of growing up, Mom told me not to act sick.  That's probably the only three rules I ever actually obeyed.  Oh there was one more rule I learned it paid to obey.  Call home!  So, that's four rules I obeyed.  Don't whine, don't cry, don't act sick, and call home.

I don't mean to imply mom was mean.  She was just strict, and you better listen.  What's kind of funny now, she gets frustrated at me, because I don't act sick, even when I'm sick.  Life is funny, might as well laugh, and don't whine, don't cry, and don't act sick.