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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Middle Aged: Accompanied by Aging Parents

I'm dwelling in the land of middle age, and trying to acclimate myself to the landscape. I'm thinking I should have done a sneak preview before entering this land, but how could I? The land of wrinkles, sags and bags, is quickly taking shape, and although my eyes see the landscape, my mind rebels at the journey. With the new terrain, comes an aging parent along for the ride. What vehicle is the best to navigate the journey? I'm thinking an all-terrain vehicle. This vehicle would be one with standard features which include, understanding, patience, endurance and most of all, a sound system of HUMOR. After all, it's a journey through unknown land, so the more we have on our side, the better the trip.

We all know that to keep our vehicle in good running condition, we have to have regular maintenance. What is necessary to keep the understanding, patience, endurance and humor all in good working order? The research is still underway, and in the meantime, we just keep dealing with whatever comes our way. Keeping in mind that this journey is just as new to my aging parent as it is to this middle aged woman that I have become.

This weekend, after spending time at the hospital in the surgical waiting room with Mom and Aunt Dell, I could see that the trip ahead was going to get a little rocky. I left the hospital with some reservations about leaving the two of them on their own. I knew that by the time they left the hospital it would be dark, and that the two of them would then have to drive home in the dark. Aunt Dell driving in a car that was new to her, and Mom through the canyon. I heard myself being my mom, in the fact that I continued to caution them to be careful, and to call me when they got home. They kept assuring me that they would be fine. I didn't trust that, and turns out I should have trusted that lack of trust.

Aunt Dell tripped and fell in the parking lot, spewing the contents of her purse far and wide. For those of you who have seen Aunt Dell's purse, you would know that the search and rescue of strewn items would be intense. Add to that all of Uncle Albert's personal belongings, and the search and rescue is intensified ten fold. Luckily Aunt Dell wasn't hurt, all contents of her purse were recovered, and they were on their way.

They arrive at their cars, and after reassuring one another that they would be fine, they head out of the parking lot. Aunt Dell won't drive the interstate, so she heads up Central Avenue. No worries there. She will just travel through the UNM area, the war zone, and the land of crazies. Mom prefers the interstate, so she makes her entrance onto the interstate and is in the proper lane to switch from I-25 to I-40, which she did, but she failed to move to the far left lane to keep on an eastward direction on I-40.

She then found herself sitting at the light at the off ramp at Carlise. Now she is thoroughly confused as to how she got there, so she turned North and drove along Carlise to Menaul. Still confused she turned left and headed down Menaul. She is now going back West when she needs to be going East. She made it to Sunset Memorial Park, which happens to be the cemetery where her parents are buried. She then knew where she was. She turned around and headed back East on Menaul, but she was still very unsure of where she was going. She said she passed Coronado Mall, and thought it very strange that JC Penny's had moved to the other side of the street. She made it to Edgewood, but was following a semi truck, whose driver seemed a little hesitant about his journey as well, and in her concern over his confusion, she almost missed the exit. By now it's ten o'clock at night.

She has since told me this same story, with all the same details 3 times. She then will tell me that I don't need to worry about her. She is fine. This morning I saw more wrinkles on my already lined face, the bags under my eyes are carrying a heavy load, and the ulcers that I think might be shaping up in my stomach, were a little more painful. This is my future in the land of middle aged, so you see my need for the right vehicle? The path ahead will be a challenge.

I will just climb in, fasten my understanding around me, turn on the patience to light the way, and give thanks for the endurance, all the while tuned into the humor channel. Wish me luck. We're off....

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