Yesterday I picked up the mail, and there was something to me from Sarah Olivia. A beautiful card, and enclosed, the poem about fingerprints and Sarah's little hand print. Circa: kindergarten? You all know the poem, it is true in every household. The mom is always cleaning fingerprints off the windows, the frig, the mirror, the wall, the furniture, and sometimes it gets discouraging. All those little fingerprints have been wiped away, and now Sarah is a woman, living far from home.
Yesterday as I read what she wrote, and knew that finally she was happy, it warmed my heart. A mother always rejoices when her children are happy. Sarah ended with, "I love you, I miss you and I wish you would come see me." As I read those words, I remembered times we had argued...times I misunderstood her, she misunderstood me. So many times I just wanted to throw in the towel, and admit to failure as a mom to Sarah. But there she wrote it in black and white...I love you....I miss you....I wish you would come see me.
All her little fingerprints are wiped from the surfaces. Her "thoughtful" drawings that she did just for me on the rental house wall, all painted over. The van windows wiped clean from her face print, she thought was so hilarious to put there, knowing all along I would yell at her. All wiped clean, gone from memory. The fingerprints on my heart, they remain. Her words, her touch, her smile, those are like fingerprints on my heart....they never go away.
Sarah Olivia, I love you....I miss you....I want to come and see you.
