The Lead Stick

My mighty mom has a weapon known as the lead stick.  We all have a healthy respect for that weapon, because we know it only looks like the handle of a hammer.  If that lead stick were to connect with your head, your obituary might read:  They never knew what hit them.

Mom has had that lead stick for several years, and it abides near her when she sleeps.  If ever the need arises to wake mom in the night, we all know to stand at a fair distance and call out to her.  In her mind, much damage could be done to an intruder who dares to intrude.  In reality, she is quite difficult to wake up, and when she does, she never wakes up swinging that lead stick, but you never know, so you respect the lead stick.

My mighty mom can slay dragons with that lead stick, as well as anyone stupid enough to break into her house.  She has no doubt at all about her ability.  I, however, don't think she's all that mighty. The other day she was telling me about the damage she could do if the need arose.  I said, "Mom, you aren't as strong and tough as you think you are, and plus, you're old now."  I said that from a fair distance, and I felt certain I could outrun her if she came after me.

She said, "I'll have you know that I'm a tough old lady, and don't you be telling me what I can't do."  I told her that she is not as strong as a man, and she could easily be overpowered.  She gave me that Lewis look, and it's to be feared as much, if not more, than that lead stick.  I'm telling you, if looks could damage....I would be severely damaged considering the many times in my life I have been given that look.

I probably shouldn't doubt her.  If perchance, some big strong guy is idiotic enough to break into her house, she would have surprise on her side.  He would see a little old lady, therefore thinking he had strength on his side, and could easily overtake her.  After all, it's just a little old lady.  However, if she wakes up swinging that lead stick, it would be like waking up Mighty Mom, the slayer of dragons and idiots.