Good Help, Where?

I find it to be very frustrating these days that you cannot find good help.  Honestly!  I came within an inch of firing my housekeeper today, but if I fired her, than I would have no one, and what a mess that would be.  It's not like I ask a lot of her.  She actually has a pretty good deal.  A roof over her head, a bed to sleep in, food to eat.  Well, sometimes we do run out of groceries, and that's what started the whole thing today. 

It's really easy to see what a mess the refrigerator has become when there isn't a bit of food in there.  A gallon of milk will only hide so much.  All those jars of mystery contents hide a few things too, but not enough.  Why would anyone who knows anything about being clean, let a refrigerator get into such a condition?  It should shame the person, and make them do a better job.  But did that happen here?  Oh no!  I had quite a talk with her about it, and she agreed that it was a shameful thing, and she vowed to do better, but I know in my heart of hearts that she won't.  You just can't get good help.

We talked about what ever in the world that brown, sticky, gooey, whatever it is that was on the very bottom of the frig.  We couldn't decide what it was, and it just doesn't want to come off after being soaked.  Smells a little like syrup, and who knew that it would solidify and become permanently attached the bottom of the frig?  She sure didn't know.

While I was ranting and raving at her for the condition of the frig, I thought I might as well jump in with both feet and talk to her about the condition of the floor.  After all I was down there on my hands and knees, and I had a bird's eye view of all the crud that was accumulated there too.  I told her, in my most stern and authoritative voice, that she needed to find the time to get down on her hands and knees and scrub the floor.  It's a good thing we haven't had company in ages and ages.  Think what it would be like if they noticed the floor, and then they opened the frig and saw the on going science projects in there! My, that would just not work.

She agreed with me that it would not be a good thing, and again she vowed to do better.  Again, I know in my heart she won't.  You just can't get good help these days.  I told her that I was very tempted to fire her and send her packing.  Maybe to Florida.  How would she like that?  I could see the gleam in her eye, and then I realized my error.  She has friends in Florida, so what would be the punishment of that?  Scratch that!  Instead I told  her, in my most stern and authoritative voice, that as punishment, she would have to do all the laundry, clean both bathroom's, dust, vacuum, do the dishes, the ironing, the floors, and while she was busy with all of that, she needed to change all the sheets as well.  And really, why not organize the linen closet?  I noticed it was quite a mess the other day.

I know she wanted to quit then and there, but where would she go?  After all, she's such a part of me that she can't imagine life without me.  That's just the way of it these days.  You can't get good help!